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Welcome to Kendra Graham’s Online Bible Study! This is a place where we can come together and share in our journey towards Scriptural truths and spiritual maturity. We pray this will be a safe, respectful, resourceful place to come and discuss God’s Word…to discover What it says…What it means…and What it means to you!

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Kendra Graham notes from :  Luke 14:26
“If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple.”

Step 1

THE FACTS:  If any come to Me and does not hate his own father, mother, wife, children, brothers, sisters, his own life, he cannot be My disciple.

Step 2

WOW! This seems a little harsh, right?  Where are the loving verses  that we are so used to?  Why the hate?  Is this contradictory?   A lot of people skip over this in devotions and sermon, thinking surely God got this verse wrong in the writing of His Word… But did He?

Recently God taught me the meaning of this verse, and it was a hard lesson to learn.  My husband travels a lot, and because of this, misses out on things like school functions during the week and soccer games on the weekends, so I’ve made it a point to try to get to everything and represent for the two of us.  I decided, way back before the birth of my first child, that I would do all I could to be very present.  This decision means I must say no to a lot of things that I am asked or pulled to do.  My first instinct is to always say no right off the bat to everything, no praying needed, the answer is just no –always no.  So, in that still quiet voice, what do I do when God wants me to say “yes”?  I still say no. 

I was asked to speak at a Ladies Morning Out about 7 months ago.  My answer was “no”.  The woman in charge of the event kept pressing me to pray about about it.  I kept saying no.  I’m too busy:  I have 3 kids, I have anywhere between 2 and 5 soccer games to attend each weekend, and most of the time those games are anywhere from 1.5 hours to 2.5 hours away and often take place in different states–even in the same day.  Logistics are always running in my brain, and I can hardly get done what I need to get done, forget about adding one more thing to the pile.  The answer is “no”.

Don’t you see my very valid excuses?

Long story short… one month later, the answer was, “yes”, and I was mad about it.  My husband Will was going to be home, so he was going to drive to the first game in South Carolina, and believe it or not, the second child had her game changed to a local field, and I would be able to make it to the game.  I would just have to find her a ride so she could arrive the customary hour before to warm up.  One would think that I would be elated with how God worked that all that out for me.  Well… not so much.  I was still mad.

What it comes down to is that I want to do what I want to do.  Here in this verse in Luke, God is saying, “Kendra, I need you to put Me above a soccer game.”  That may be easy for some of you, but boy howdy, that is hard for me.  God was not even asking me to miss my child’s game at all…I would only be missing the warm up,  so that I could spend the morning in His presence with a group of other women… even if it’s inconvenient for me.  I was quickly becoming a Jonah in my heart…

BUT GOD… loves us enough to teach us and to love us in spite of poor, selfish attitudes.  Amen?!

I needed to go and speak to those women, why? Did I have some amazing insight that these women needed? Ummm no, but God needed to get His grip back on my heart.  God spoke to me that day, forget about speaking to anyone else, it was all for me.  Who do I love more?  My kids and their functions?  Or Him?  God is not asking us to neglect our families at all, please don’t hear that, but God is asking to be placed above them.  There shall be no other gods before Me.  Some people need help on saying no, they say yes to everything and are sucked away from what is important, but for me, I needed to say yes this day to my God above all else.  HARD to DO!

I still complained the whole way there and back, but luckily, God is used to working with and loving us with those Jonah hearts.  A lesson I will not soon forget.  This very verse came to mind and heart before, during, and after the message I gave that day.  Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus!

Step 3

APPLY IT:  Who or what are you placing above God in my life?  Do I say yes too often, or do I perhaps say no too often?

Is there something you don’t want to do or somewhere you refuse to go, even if God is moving your heart to do so?

What will you commit to pray about instead of just immediately answering to?

LIVE IT OUT:  Today, help me to have listening ears, a willing heart, and obedient feet to where or who You call me to.


What Scripture are you studying now? What have you learned? How has the Lord spoke to you? Share with us in the comments section.

To see more of Kendra’s Bible Studies, click here.

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